THE HEIDI HO COMEDY SHOW (Part 1)

When at first you don't succeed, lower the gradient.

All my life, I've created huge projects such as Broadway plays, Feature Films, Animations and multi-faceted marketing vehicles.  These projects are extremely viable and potentially worth billions...if you have the funding to manifest them.

At this late juncture of this artist's journey, I've had to go from pitching these massive projects down to pitching a four-person musical and then down to pitching a one-woman show starring only myself as a variety of lunatic characters.

Thus, 'THE HEIDI HO COMEDY SHOW" was born out of frustration, necessity, hope, fearlessness, creativity and survival.

No one ever said showbiz was easy.  Some people believe it is a glamorous life where you just perform on stage for a short period and then relax the rest of the time.  Let me put that rumor to rest.  It is a full-time job just to promote your act or products, not to mention all the development time as well as maintenance of costumes, wigs, makeup, computer, instruments, body, face, mind and spirit.  Anyone who ventures forth into the realm of that business we call "show" has to have both a thick skin and a never-ending passion.  We are soldiers of a sort in that we constantly battle to have our voices heard.

Okay, so enough of the drudgery.  It's depressing.  Let's talk about the pro-active manner in which I'm approaching this exciting yet frightening new one-woman show.  I've never done a one-person show other than a "Cher Impersonation Show."  But, I've been in the audience of some of the best.  Perhaps my most favorite was the great Billy Crystal when I saw him on Broadway in his one-man show called "700 Sundays."  In that show about his life, Billy talked about his childhood desire to play pro baseball.  But he didn't feel quite good enough to make the pros.  It wasn't until he sat in the audience of some Catskills comics that he said to himself, "Hey, I can do that!"  And that's exactly what I said to myself after seeing Billy Crystal's performance.  "I can do that!"

When you grow up with the name "Heidi," you get a lot of people calling you "Heidi Ho" because of a famous, old song by Cab Calloway, "Hi De Ho."  While the word "Ho" can make some uncomfortable, I am embracing it.  Maybe someday my fans will be called "Ho Hos."  LOL!

So, how does one come up with the content for a one-person show?  Billy Crystal used his life story.  Chaz Palminteri based his on "A Bronx Tale."  John Leguizamo used family characters to create his comedy act.  But I've always admired Lucille Ball and Carol Burnett along with Bette Midler and Robin Williams.  You might say I have the silliness of Lucy, the characters of Carol, the attitude of Bette and the love of improvisation like Robin.  I had to find a way to put that all together in a one-woman show that would not only showcase my performing abilities, but also my writing, directing, costuming, makeup and producing abilities.  The idea being that this "Heidi Ho Comedy Show" would be my way "in" to moving up the food chain and getting my original plays, music, scripts and other projects produced.

The main weapon I had in my arsenal was my highly successful Cher impersonation.  With this character, I had headlined on the Las Vegas strip for over 18 years, guest-starred on numerous national TV shows such as "The Nanny," "The View" and "Ellen," toured to promote the opening of the cable network, TV Land, was featured in a national book release about the real Cher, and performed for many huge biker rallies, corporate events and private functions.  Surely, this character would have to be the big finish for my new act!  But it had to be just a small part of "The Heidi Ho Comedy Show" because I was now moving from a top impersonator to a newcomer in the field of a character comedienne.  A newcomer...after decades in "the biz."  I should have taken this step a long time ago.  Sometimes the dream of what can be is much easier to experience than the reality of what has to occur.  I nearly had one of my musicals produced on Broadway with the King of Broadway Producers, James Nederlander Sr., in 1987.  19 friggin 87!  It's 2015!  What the heck has taken me so long?

Okay, so back to starting over.  With Cher as my "can't miss ending," I now had to fashion the 18 minutes leading up to her in my 20 minute new act.  I wanted to create a strong 20 minutes first because I could then be an opening act for a star, or work as a comic in some comedy shows.  I could shave off some time or add some time to this strong 20 minute piece as needed.  It was good plan that would eventually either lead into a 90 min one-woman show or garner funding for one of my larger projects.  Either way, I had a new direction and revitalized hope.

In my next blog entry, I will explain the process I used to create the 20 minute new act and show you some pictures of the characters I chose to portray.  I invite you to join me in this journey as I have so much to share with you.  Some exciting things are already happening!  Talk soon...

The "Being Fearless" Phase

By the looks of things, I can feel the winds of change blowing in from South of my "kiss my ass" attitude!  The major gifts one obtains from years of pushing against several glass ceilings is the sledgehammer of knowledge and the atom bomb of creativity.  I've got my arsenal and a great plan of attack as I now embark upon my "Being Fearless" phase.

There are several parts to my upcoming war against those things which keep a great chick from being as great as she can be.  Some are very personal.  But I've decided to start dishing the dirt in the quest of gathering more "troops" in my good fight.  We all need a little help from our real friends and I hope you will become one of those.

Where to begin?  Well, for those of you who don't realize this, the gays are the ones who have made every Diva a diva since the dawning of divas.  Cher, Bette, Dolly, Judy, Tina, Madonna, Gaga...ALL of these Divas would not be where they are today if not for the gays.  You get the gays, you get the women.  You get the women, you get the men.

Thus, I've decided to concentrate on extending my gay audiences by creating a FABULOUS new gay matchmaking event that I plan to tour with very soon.  It's called "Cher's Royal Gay Matchmaking Court."  At this event, single gay men will be entertained while being able to give contact info to potential love interests with whom they might enjoy a long-term relationship.  It's a fun alternative to the bar scene, which is mainly for one-night hook-ups.  I'm hoping to help them find marriage material.

My first event of this kind is coming on April 5th, 2015 at a beautiful venue called "Ron DeCar's Event Center."  I don't have the official flier yet, so I'll post the idea I gave to the artist for now.  I'll post his final rendering when I receive it.

I'm also embarking upon a promotional performance frenzy wherein I will be doing my "Cher" thang at every gay-friendly venue who will welcome me.  My first of these is a very special birthday bash for my dear friend and colleague, Bill Janisse.  It's this Sunday and here's the beautifully crafted flier:

I'll post pics on my next blog.  Meanwhile, I've got so much more to "Cher" with you about my new musical, my cosmetic surgery, my personal journey (which is really an epic tale of strangeness) and some of the most interesting people I've met in a long time, including a famous comic and the most highly regarded numerologist in the world!

But I need to build up my readership before I drop some of the HUGE bombs I feel inclined to blow up!  So, I am asking for your help in getting people to join this blog.  The bombs I will be dropping are worthy of a worldwide audience, but I'd be happy with a few thousand followers.  I promise you, it will be worth the read...

My next blog post will occur when I reach 100 followers.  So, I hope you'll help me out!

Here we go!  Yay!

Heidi

COSMETIC SURGERY: The Cutting of Communication

This is my second blog post regarding my recent experience with Cosmetic Surgery.  So, if you haven't read the previous post, I hope you'll do so before reading this one.

We left off with my stating that I was shocked at a hostile response given to me by my Plastic Surgeon after I politely asked for a small request.

To give just a bit of back story, my journey post surgery began with a problem with my head bandage the first night.  It hindered my ability to swallow and breathe along with bruising my larynx.  My husband phoned the doctor at 4am to ask permission to cut it near my throat in order to handle the situation.

After that, I ended up with two very differently shaped earlobes, a missed hematoma which caused more problems with the left side of my neck and jaw, a dent near my right eye from a fat transfer to the face, and some bumps inside my lower lip that were causing me to lisp.

For over five weeks, I lived with all the problems because I felt the surgeon would simply fix them.  We spoke of it and I was never concerned.  Nor did I complain.

Upon five weeks post surgery, I had my first "Cher" gig with my new jaw and neck.  I decided to send a picture of myself in makeup and wig via a private message on Facebook so he could see his work.  Here's the picture:

And here is a copy of the resulting dialogue between the doctor and me on that private message thread on Facebook.  His dialogue is in white and mine in blue.

What really upset me is that he automatically attacked me by saying, "Heidi, I just love how you focus only on the minor negative aspects..."  Really?  I was just trying to get help to do my job better and asked nicely about the problem with the lip.  He could have simply said to come into the office sooner than the appointment I currently had, which was about a month away.  I tried to take responsibility for "pushing another button" with my kind reply.  But he then attacked me for talking about this on a private message on Facebook when he could have simply and NICELY said to not communicate any further business on his FB.  I would have gladly agreed.

In any event, we've had several texting sessions via phone since then which got even more embroiled.  You'd think that a surgeon would be the one trying to handle the concerns of a patient who is in the middle of some pretty intense pain, trauma and worry, right?  Instead, I was trying to handle him.

I'll be posting those text messages along with the steps I now have to take to not only fix the problems resulting from this surgery, but also to try and put some ethics in on this surgeon's communication.  If he just has a slight realization regarding his hostile attitude, I'll be happy with all the extra time, effort and money spent.  Meanwhile, I've been approached by a local TV station and an entertainer reporter to tell this story.  Should I?  I'm also filing a formal complaint with the Medical Examiner.

I wish he would have just been kinder and more responsible rather than so confrontational. 

COSMETIC SURGERY: Keeping up with Cher

I've got some dish to "Cher."  I took a hiatus from developing the musical starring myself and two queens in order to get some "work" done on my face.  You see, Cher is not easy to impersonate because of her unique look, voice, etc.  On top of that, the woman is still looking and sounding great at her age, and it is hard to keep up!  That's why I felt the need to finally give in and have some cosmetic surgery.

Finding the right Plastic Surgeon was not easy.  I spent years going to recommended doctors both in Las Vegas and in Beverly Hills.  I even met with the doctor who worked on Cher, herself!  But I was gun shy and could not find enough justification to spend the money or undergo such torture.  Then, a few months ago, a friend of mine and I were visiting.  I noticed that he looked really great and I asked him if he had had any work done.  He admitted that he had and he gave me the name of his Plastic Surgeon.  I met with this doctor and decided to bite the bullet and get my lower face and neck lifted.  I also decided to have some fat transferred into my lips.  The next few posts in this blog will be dedicated to telling you about the surgery, the aftercare and how sorry I feel for the surgeon who has no idea how to communicate to his patients once the anesthesia wears off.

First, let's talk about what I looked like when my poor husband, Gene, drove me home a few hours after my surgery.  You see, fat transfer to the lips can look pretty crazy.   You have to fill the lips to full capacity since 80% of the fat dies or gets reabsorbed into the body.  So, my lips were reminiscent of a platypus!  Of course, there was a tight bandage around my head and the assistant informed Gene that "the swelling has to go somewhere!"  Gene just wasn't ready for what he saw when they wheeled me out of the recovery room.

I'd show you a picture, but then I'd have to kill you!  My husband said I looked more like I had had brain surgery, with all the drooling and swelling.  Lol!

Well, my first night was pretty scary because the bandaging was causing me difficulty in both breathing and swallowing.  So, around 4am, Gene telephoned the doctor to ask if we could cut the bandage a bit to give me more room for my larynx.  We did this and then went to the doctor's office the next day for my first follow-up exam.

I did not see the doctor that day, which surprised me since he knew I had been in some distress the night before.  His assistant took off my bandaging to examine my face and all the stitches.  I'm going to show you a photo of part of the stitches now so you can see that there were a ton of them.  They went in front of my ears, in back of my ears, down the bottom of my scalp and in the scalp above the temples.  It was a lot of stitches!

When the bandages came off, there was a very large swollen mass on the left side of my neck.  I brought this to the attention of the assistant and inquired as to possible remedies for the swelling.  She said it was just "normal swelling" and to ice it.  I went home with a lesser bandage now around my face.

Still a bit loopy from the anesthesia, I found myself not wanting to take any more of the pain pills prescribed to me after the third or fourth day.  I just wanted to regain my wits.  I opted to take some Tylenol and live with the pain.  But my larynx had been injured by the overly tight bandage from the first night and I was miserable.  The large swelling on my neck was not receding from the ice and so I decided to do a little surfing on the net to see if I could find any more helpful information.  What I found was that the swelling I had was not "normal swelling."  It was a "hematoma" or blood-filled sac just under my skin.  I read that these should be drained as soon as possible so as to not cause damage; the worst being the killing off of localized skin cells.  I now had just a few days before my next follow-up appointment.  At least this time, I could tell the assistant that I had a hematoma.

Gene drove me again to my next follow-up which was four days post surgery.  We went into the examining room and were soon met with an assistant.  She said, "You look great," to which I replied, "Except for the hematoma."  I took off my bandage and let her see the large, swollen mass.  She went to get the doctor.  Hurray!

When the doctor saw the hematoma, he looked upset.  He questioned Gene and myself as to when we first noticed this swelling.  We told him on the day after surgery and explained that we had brought it up to his assistant who then told us it was "normal swelling."  He wasn't very happy about that and took his assistant into the hallway to speak to her.  When he returned, he drained the hematoma by opening a few stitches behind my ear and pushing the clotted blood through the opening.  Ouch!  Here's a picture of my neck after the first draining.

I went back to get this drained two more times.  Gene was always with me because I was still too loopy to drive.  During those visits with the doctor, I found him to be a bit resentful whenever I'd bring up things that I felt needed more attention such as my two earlobes that were mismatched, a dent in my skin near my eye and some fat transfer problems with my lips.  I tried to always be cordial and kind because I know how hard it must be for a surgeon to hear complaints after his work.  It's like with any artist who creates something only to have it critiqued in a less-than-perfect fashion.  But never in my wildest dreams did I expect him to react in such a hostile way to a simple request I politely asked him a few weeks later...  (more to come!)

TAKING TWO STEPS FORWARD: Much has happened since I last wrote!

Hey there!
Yes, I know it's been a while.  But great things sometimes take a bit to brew!  Much has happened since my last post.

First, let's talk about Marvin. 

You know, the crazy queen who lied and ripped off my sweet husband, my sister, our friend and myself...along with several others that I found out about after the fact.  Well, he's hiding out and laying low.  We know he was recently still in Vegas from reports of his being on a gay dating site.  Thank you to all the friends who keep me in the "Marvin loop."  I'm sure he'll get his karmic due sooner than later.







As for the musical, well, it is coming along beautifully.  We replaced Marvin with the amazingly talented, Jimmy Emerson.

We also got a top drag queen from the "Divas" show, Andrew Ryan, to professionally apply drag makeup to Tony Torres.  Although a veteran singer/actor/dancer, Tony had never done drag before.
                                                                               
He was quite concerned over it until he saw how beautiful he looked with the right hair, makeup and costume.  (See the picture of Tony as himself on the left and as the drag queen on the right.)

We are fortunate that Jimmy Emerson hosts a drag show in a small bar on Friday nights, so it gave us a place to woodshed some of the musical numbers from the show.

Here's another picture of Tony performing a number as a sort of a "Vampire Cher."  The song is called "Eternally" and it takes place on Halloween in the musical.

Tony was incredible!  It's as if he was born to do this part!

And Jimmy did a little strip in a saloon song called "Take A Good Look, Honey!"  What a character!




Here are a few pictures of his infamous number.

I had to take a short break away from working on the play due to some personal reasons.  But during that time, I got the idea to write an audio e-Book of the story based on the play, along with all the songs!  So, I've been working on that and it is really the perfect next step to getting this project off and running.  It's financially easier to produce an audio book and it will also give me a CD of the songs along with a hard copy book to sell as marketing items after the play.  I plan on raising funds for this e-Book on one of the web sites like "Kickstarter."  We'll be giving away e-Books, CDs and other fun items in exchange for donations.  We'll even give a few donors an acknowledgement in the foreward of the book itself.

Meanwhile, we garnered a remarkable fashion designer to make all the costumes!  His name is Mark Roscoe and he such a talent!  You can check out some of his designs at:

www.MarkRoscoeDesign.com

Mark just designed a new gown for the queen diva, Frank Marino.  It will be going in his show, "Divas" shortly.  We'll show you a picture of that gown and give you updates in the next post.

I thank you for taking this journey with me, and I look forward to sharing some more wonderful things with you very soon.

Always,

Heidi

That Ol' Drag Magic!

Sometimes things just fall magically into place.  I don't know why that is.  Some say it has to do with karma.  Others say it is "your time."  Whatever the reason, there is magic happening right now with possible alliances that will give this play all the horsepower it needs to reach its full potential and beyond.

I'm going to be meeting with some amazing people in L.A. over the coming weeks.  From those meetings, I will know for sure if this roll I'm on will snowball.  If the chills going up and down my body are any indication, I believe the ball is already rolling at a spiritual warp speed.

Meanwhile, I wanted to share with you some of the fun moments in our recording studio as my talented singer and actor friends gave so generously of their time and talents to assist in developing the songs and script for the play.

First, I had to find someone to replace Marvin Nathan (the con I wrote so much about in this blog.)  I was unsure of whom to ask to help with the song demos since it really calls for a gay man's take on the songs.  But I have an extremely talented friend, Rick Friedman, who can sing anything.  He sang on some demos last year for another musical I wrote, and he was utterly amazing.  So, I asked this straight male if he could sing three songs in a sort-of Harvey Fierstein manner.  He agreed to give a try, and he NAILED it!  LOL!  Here's a pic of Rick in our studio:

The other drag queen character has to sing like a cross between Tim Curry (Frankenfurter from Rocky Horror Picture Show) and the diva, Shirley Bassey.  I am fortunate enough to have a singer friend who can do this voice perfectly!  His name is Tony Torres, and he stars in "Tony and Tina's Wedding" here at Ballys Hotel.  Tony was SUPERB on the songs and I am forever grateful to him and Rick!  Here's a picture of Tony in our studio:

The third person I'd like to thank is my hilariously funny and talented friend, Bill Janisse!  There is a character in my play who is the owner of the gay bar wherein the entire play is set.  This bar owner fancies himself as the Flo Ziegfeld of drag show producers.  I needed an actor to play a cross between "Jack" from "Will and Grace" and Liberace!  Bill fit the "bill" perfectly!  Here's a picture of Bill in our studio:

My genius husband, Gene Sironen, and I are going to be finishing up all the song demos over the coming weeks and then copyrighting them all.  Once that is all done, I will post the songs on a private you-tube video for my closest friends to hear.  If you'd like to be included in the group of persons who get to hear the first song demos, please LEAVE A COMMENT on this post below.  You may have to become a FOLLOWER of this blog to do so, but it's free.

I'd like to leave you with a HINT of one of the biggest number in this show by placing a picture of the script cover here.  I've not shown the name of the play yet for confidentiality, but the wonderful cartoon of myself and the two original actors chosen to do the play will "Cher" with you some of what will be happening!  The cartoon was drawn by the fabulous Scott Clarke, whom I thank from the bottom of my heart.

Wish me luck in L.A.!

Heidi

POST HURRICANE MARVIN

If you haven't been following this blog, let me take just a moment to catch you up to speed.  I'm writing a musical starring myself and two drag queens.  I'm also a top Cher impersonator (real female).  Here is a picture of me with the amazing Larry Edwards who stars in "Divas" here in Las Vegas.
 
Okay, so much has happened since the conception of this project.  But to get caught up in a nutshell, here's the play-by-play:

1.  I put the idea on paper and pitch to it a few producers who all have interest
2.  I ask two iconic drag queen friends if they'd like to be involved in creating the project
3.  One of those two queens, Marvin Nathan, moves from Florida to take part in this project and also   to perform in Reno for the "Divas" show that Frank Marino is mounting there soon.
4.  Marvin is supposed to stay in my home for two days until his apartment is ready for move-in
5.  Marvin secretly cons me into letting him stay with me for over two months by stating several deceptive lies about different money sources being delayed.  He also says he's going to cash in his life insurance policy to pay us back for all the help, and also to invest in the play
6.  After too many "the money will be here tomorrow" scenarios, I start calling people to investigate Marvin's history.  It was then that I found out he has conned several others in the same manner
7.  I filed charges against Marvin
8.  After I went public with this, Frank Marino hired someone else to take Marvin's place in his Divas show in Reno.  Marvin also got kicked out of his apartment that I paid for because he could not keep up with the rent.  Marvin then became a vagrant in our local airport but was soon kicked out of there.  To this date, no one has been able to tell me where Marvin is so that I can serve legal papers on him.
9.  I cleaned up all the financial and emotion mess that "Hurricane Marvin" left in his wake and am back on track with the musical.  Marvin was in my home from the end of September to the end of November 2013. 

It is now February 21, 2014.  I've managed to complete the first draft of the script and get most of the original songs in a rough demo form.  This was not easy since I not only lost a ton of money by helping out Marvin, but I also did not have the investment money to develop the show.  Because I was counting on that investment money to be in the bank in November, I did not book many other Cher gigs and my husband did not schedule many clients in his recording studio so that we could concentrate our efforts on the musical.  It was a rough time financially.  But they say that bad things often come in "threes," as was the case with us.

The second problem to be faced during this difficult time was a legal battle in which a man wanted to cancel one of my trademarks in an effort to use it for his own company.  Here's the fact on trademark law.  You don't have a permanent trademark until you prove continual usage during the fifth and sixth years after you obtain the mark.  Up to that point, anyone can challenge your mark.  If they have enough money to keep you in costly litigation, you can either spend a fortune defending that mark or give up and let the opposition take it.  I know it doesn't sound fair.  Welcome to the business world.  So far, we've been defending the mark and are still in the middle of this situation.

The third problem was that my husband, Gene, found out he needed some surgery to remove a large polyp in his colon.  The surgery is next month.  They need to take out ten inches of his colon to ensure his safety.  It looks like it will be routine and there's a good chance there is no cancer.  But it will be costly as well as emotionally draining.  So, the last thing we needed was to be conned by a "friend" we took in and supported.

Where are we now as far as handling the above?  Well, we just met with two of the producers who are interested in this project.  They want us to do a reading of the script for them in April.  We also want to somehow do a showcase on a stage because with every original and new idea, it is much better to SEE it than to try to visualize it.  Thus, I am trying to figure out how to make this happen.  I've been considering using "Kickstarter" which is an internet site used to raise funds for projects.  But I'd rather find an investor who can see the value of this project and who will assist in seeing it through.  I'm still working on this end of things.

As for the trademark lawsuit, it is on hold for now.  I'm creating some big things for usage of the mark in the meantime.  I'll let you know what happens.

Gene is feeling fine as if nothing is at all wrong.  We feel that his surgery will also go just fine and that he'll be back to snuff in a few weeks afterward.

There are some other fun things in the works, but I'll get to those in the next blog post.  I'll also give you some fun pictures from people recording songs for the play in our studio and from script readings, etc.  So, if you'd like to follow this story, best to become a "follower" by adding your name to the list.  There is an icon to the top right that will help you to do this.  If you have any problems, just leave a reply to this post and I'll help you.

Okay, so we are off and running once again!  Can't wait to post some pics soon!

Always,
Heidi